Stealing Our Hearts

I woke up this morning with the beginnings of bruises covering my body. It hurt to walk. It hurt to sit. But more than anything, the hurt felt good; it felt right. I deserved to feel this way.

I want to talk a little bit about pain. My pain, specifically. I think it’ll be nice to get it out; to let myself breathe for once. I’m in a lot of pain. All the time. It’s emotional pain that manifests itself in different ways. Some days it’s easier to pretend there isn’t a giant cloud of death looming over my head; other days, I just cry for hours and hours. If you know me, you know this isn’t uncommon. I’m a total crier. I love crying, always have. It’s such an incredible release. In grade school, I was known as the cry-girl. There’s always one of us (or more, depending on the type of school you went to). That one person who cries about basically everything and gets made fun of for it. Yep, that was me. My previous therapist said it’s because I’m an HSP (highly sensitive person). I was born this way, and I’ll always be this way. I wish it felt good to hear that.

Unfortunately, I can’t always cry. Some days, when that horrific, dark cloud is sitting above my head, threatening me with inevitable nothingness, I am an empty shell. I wake up in the morning, vacant. I can’t feel anything. I frequently describe it to my closest people as a feeling of numbness. A curtain drops down around my head and I lose everything that makes me, me. Those are the worst days. The days when people are constantly asking me if I look okay, or why I look so sick, or if I’m hungover (that last one gets me every time lol). I’m worthless. The worst friend, lover, human. I hate being so useless, but I can’t get up! I can’t force myself to feel! I’m trying.

I think that’s all any of us can really do – try. You can’t force someone to be better. You can’t talk at them enough to make them see their own self worth. It’s something they have to grow into on their own. I’m not there yet. I have a terrible character flaw of trying to find myself inside others. Trying to love myself through others. Validate myself through others. Eventually, it all comes crashing down. You can’t live that way forever. Well, the crash happened. I’m still here. Now I have to pick up the pieces of myself and figure out where to take my next step. It’s a scary feeling. I’m terrified that I’m not good enough to do this, I’m not good enough to live through this. Don’t worry – I’m working on that too.

I love the rain. I always have. I heard rain once described as “the sky crying” and it struck me. Do I feel understood in some weird way by nature? In Texas, you can walk outside on any regular day and the sun might be shining…and 30 minutes later it’s pouring. I’ve always equated Texas weather to my emotional stability. I don’t know what makes me cry, things just DO. Old men. Kittens. Cold sandwiches. Dried up leaves. I could go on.

I really just wanted to write this for me, because I simply needed to. I needed to put something down. I needed to feel better, if only for a moment. A friend once told me, years ago, that it’s okay to take your time in the healing process. There is no limit, no expiration. There won’t be a day when I wake up and someone tells me, “okay today is your last day of feeling bad. You have to get over everything before tomorrow!” That would suck…and that’s a horrifying thought. This friend told me that taking it one day at a time was the only way he was able to heal. He had been laying in bed for weeks, unable to get up. The first day he decided enough was enough and he needed to try and start healing, he sat up in his bed and put his feet on the floor. That’s it. This was the most he’d done in weeks. He purposefully sat up in bed, and planted his feet firmly on the ground. The second day, he stood up. The third day, he walked from his bed to his bedroom door. Eventually, he showered and left his apartment. He consciously made the effort to try. Now, this wasn’t without the help of a therapist (and perhaps medication, but I wasn’t privy to that information at the time). The simple fact of the matter is, he did it. So can I. I can do this. If you’re reading this, if you’re connecting to me from behind your computer screen, you can do it too. Good GOD it’s scary. I’m terrified. But I have to do this. So I will.

I’d like to close with one of my favorite poems a professor once read to my acting class in college.

The wind, one brilliant day, called
to my soul with an odor of jasmine.

‘In return for the odor of my jasmine,
I’d like all the odor of your roses.’

‘I have no roses; all the flowers
in my garden are dead.’

‘Well then, I’ll take the withered petals
and the yellow leaves and the waters of the fountain.’

the wind left. And I wept. And I said to myself:
‘What have you done with the garden that was entrusted to you?’  Antonio Machado

He didn’t take it further. He just held my face like I was something special and kissed my lips chastely, his soft lips pressed to the heat of mine. It was how a girls first kiss should be. Romantic. Devastating. Sweet.

I finished reading this book about an hour ago, but I needed to sit with my thoughts before I could put anything down in writing. The Red Zone by Amie Knight is a must-read. No, not enough. It’s a magical, gorgeous representation of real life. Of what it means to struggle and live and love. It’s the story everyone needs to hear.

Lukas, an all-star professional quarterback, loses his mother to a car accident and has to move back to his hometown to take care of his younger sister, Ella. Ella has down syndrome. Ella’s special education teacher, Scarlett, was Lukas’ tutor in high school (she was a freshman in high school tutoring a senior LOL). She has loved him for the last ten years, quietly and unbeknownst to Lukas. Little did Scar know, but Lukas has also loved her. Fate has an interesting way of bringing people together, doesn’t it? And so, ta-da! Story created.

I’m not sure what it was that drew me in to their story and kept me needing more; Luk’s love for Ella, Scar’s complete lack of awareness for Luk’s romantic interest in her? I can’t pinpoint just one moment. This novel was an easy read, I laughed a lot and teared up a few times. It allowed me to get away for a few hours. Live vicariously through someone else. That’s how you know you’ve found a good book.

Those of you that read romance as frequently as I do are aware of the lack of representation of the disabled throughout the genre. It’s HUGE that Ella has downs. The courage it took for Knight to create a character like Ella is outstanding. I can’t thank our author enough for this. It brings tears to my eyes as I write this. What a special story to share with her audience.

“You.” His voice sounded as tortured as my heart felt. His thumb rubbed my chin. His eyes held me captive. “I wanna call dibs on you, Red.”

He frowns. “Why do you do that? Hide your feelings?” He won’t let me move. His hand stays firm. “Because they aren’t to be trusted.” Leaning forward, he presses his lips to my forehead and I battle another wave of tears. “That’s the saddest thing I’ve ever heard.”

The ending of a book will make or break a story for me. I have always, since I can remember, read the endings of books before I read the story. I do the same with TV shows. I get too invested in characters to lose them to a crappy plot, so I make it easier on myself from the beginning. That being said, I absolutely HATE cliffhangers. I knew this novel, by Anna Bloom, ended in a cliffhanger…because I read the ending before I started. I still gave it a chance, even though I knew it would hurt.

I can’t begin to explain the way I feel right now. Empty? Hopeless? Heartbroken? I knew how the story would end, but I still hoped for something else. Truthfully, this novel was incredibly well done. Interesting plot, detailed characters, beautiful language. I just can’t be happy without a happily ever after. I know there’s a second book, I’m sure I’ll read it and all will be right in the world again, but I can’t let go of the nagging feeling in the pit of my stomach. Faith deserved better. This incredible, strong, passionate woman deserved the world. Instead she was crushed AGAIN and AGAIN. Can I even begin to explain to you how that feels? It’s so relatable, it hurts. Except, she doesn’t wear her heart on her sleeve like I do. She has armor on her skin from years and years of pain and suffering. I don’t think I’ve met another character as brilliantly crafted as Faith. I can’t applaud Bloom enough for imagining this young woman for her audience.

Eli, on the other hand, is something else. GoodNESS. How do I feel about him? Hmm…literally hot and cold. There’s no other way to describe it. He is the embodiment of a perfect mate one moment, and the next he’s completely trampling on our hearts. It comes out of nowhere! Reading his facial expressions is a whole other ball game. How do we ever know how he really feels? We never get to see inside his mind!! It’s harrowing! Help because I’m in love with a man who could change his mind about me in an instant! (Me pretending I’m Faith). Faith TELLS ELI THAT SHE LOVES HIM AND HE DOESN’T SAY IT BACK. I AM A BROKEN PERSON RIGHT NOW.

I’d like to clarify for everyone – just because this story crushed me into a million pieces and frustrated me beyond belief, doesn’t mean it wasn’t fantastic. Bloom’s gift is out of this world. I wish I could write something as poetic and stunning as this. Excuse me while I go cry for a while now.

“I hoped that one day maybe I’d be the one who stops your tears for good.”

Okay, woooooow. Oh my god, this story was so hot and such a pleasure to read. DISCLAIMER: there are some really sensitive scenes in this novel that might be triggers for certain readers. Be cautious when choosing this book.

Another modern re-telling of the classic Tarzan, author Clarissa Wild, takes us on a journey of life, love, and uncensored pleasure. If you’re into dark romances as much as I am, you’re going to LOVE this book. Completely raw, over the top drama, with the perfect amount of pain. A truly delectable read.

“Mine…” he growls. There it is again. That one word that unlocks my heart.

Here’s the thing….if you’re not into possessive men, this is definitely not the book for you. Complete and utter domination. I, for one, love to read all types of romance. Unless someone is being physically or mentally hurt against their will, I usually enjoy the story.

We first meet Ella, our heroine, when she was very young. We are there with her as she witnesses the death of her sister and, in turn, loses her voice. She has what’s called Selective Mutism. It’s real, I looked it up. Ella cannot speak unless she trusts someone fully. The only people she trust are her parents until she meets Cage. Cage was born inside the glass cage where his father keeps him and has remained there his entire life. He knows nothing of the outside world, he only knows what his father has taught him. How to fight and have sex. We learn pretty early on in the novel, that Cage “chose” Ella as his prize for winning fights for his father in an illegal underground fighting ring. Cage’s father is pure evil, he abducted Ella, and provided her to Cage as his play thing. He tortures his victims with knockout gas and other weapons that we can’t see. Little does he know, but his son is completely smitten with Ella from the moment he sees her. He will do anything for her, especially after she begins to teach him to read and speaks to him about all he’s missing in the outside world. He will even risk his life to save her from his father.

This story is a whirlwind of delicious love-making and intense, emotional breakthroughs. How do you come to terms with the fact that you’re in love with the man who chose to have you abducted? Ella struggles with so much…there’s definitely some Stockholm Syndrome going on, but it really didn’t bother me. Cage and Ella’s love felt true and real from the get-go.

Allowing us, the reader, to experience Cage’s full character arc was something else. Sincerely. We meet him, and all he knows is kill, eat, fuck, repeat. (Pardon my french). Ella changes his life, teaches him, guides him, makes him better. It’s an incredible transformation that Wild crafted perfectly. Standing ovation for that, Clarissa ❤ you rock. There were so many special little treats throughout the novel that most books don’t take the time to embellish on; it really changes the way the reader experiences the story. Ella’s parents were two, fully developed humans, as well of her friend, Bo (btw that love triangle was brilliant – thanks for that). Friends – take the time to read this. I think it’s worth it.

5 stars goes out to our lovely, brilliant author, Clarissa Wild. Love comes in all shapes and sizes; love comes when you least expect it; you don’t choose who you love. Thank you for sharing your story with us, Clarissa.

“Being free means nothing…without you.”

“Did you know the trees speak to each other?” She wrinkled her brow. “No.” “They do. They tell secrets in their roots, those deep, dark place that can’t be seen. I think we’re like that too. We know things deep, deep down, secret things, ancient things, that whisper through us, one to the other. You whispered to me. And I whispered back. You heard, didn’t you?” Her heart beat with love for him, at the sweetness of what he’d said. She nodded. “Yes, I heard.”

Have you ever read a book so beautifully crafted that you didn’t physically know what to do with yourself when it ended? You felt the immediate loss of the characters. They had become your friends, your confidantes, you were constantly cheering for them, crying for them, loving them. Then it’s over. Just like everything else. But their story and these people stay with you. You dream about them, you find yourself thinking about them randomly in the middle of the day. They never leave. Their story is unforgettable.

Savaged by Mia Sheridan is that story for me. Jak and Harper are those memorable characters that I felt the critical absence of when their story ended. There have only been a handful of books in my lifetime that I felt the way about. A 5 star review isn’t enough for the masterpiece Sheridan gifted us with. This journey was filled with twists and turns all perfectly placed to keep us begging for more, but still apprehensive about what might come next.

Jak’s character is the epitome of a gentle giant. A massive, wild man, who grew up in the woods, alone. He lives purely on animal instinct until he is taken in for questioning regarding the murder of the man who’s land he lives on. He smells Harper before he ever meets her. Her scent calms him and grounds him. It’s an instant connection between the both of them. They fall in love slowly. She approaches him with hesitance at the beginning; I don’t blame her, but she never could have guessed how lucky she would be. He, using his animal instinct, decides that she is his forever mate. I cried. He describes the passion and pull he feels towards her and his desire to never be apart from her. Harper has some major baggage, with her parents being killed when she was very young, and living in foster homes…she’s afraid he’ll leave her. Like everyone else. But he doesn’t and he won’t. That’s the beauty of this story. People always leave except when they don’t.

Taking a pause from reviewing for a moment, how do you guys feel about the idea of fate, or rather, purpose? Perhaps this idea is born out of the fear of meaninglessness? I’ve always believed that there’s a reason for everything. There’s comfort in it, yes, but there’s also too much for it to all mean nothing. I can’t comprehend that there is no purpose to anything. Sheridan elegantly introduced this idea into Jak and Harper’s story.

“That if we can hang on-survive-through the hard times in life, there is something better waiting for us. There’s a purpose we can’t always see. There’s an…order.”

As you read this book, the idea of fate becomes a regular theme. Jak and Harper discover that they are both alive because of the other person. There are each a hero to the other. The word “live” is almost as consistent as love in this journey. Both our characters struggled to live, survive, in their own way. Jak’s was a physical survival. He almost died on multiple occasions because he couldn’t find any food out in the wild. Harper’s was a mental survival. After her parents died and she went to live in foster homes, she retreated into her self. She couldn’t let go of the past and move on until she met Jak and he helped close the door for her. Surviving this life is hard. Sheridan’s superb narrative does this fact justice.

Sheridan is a true, unique, exquisite story-teller. A born natural talent. Most romance novels, these days, are written with the same formula. Now, I don’t mind that formula. I never get bored when I read because I know it always ends in a happily ever after. It’s why I enjoy reading romance so much. That being said, every once in a while, I find a diamond in the rough. Savaged was just that. The perfect four leafed clover. I only wish there was more. I’d read Jak and Harper’s story forever if I could. The perfect modern re-telling of the classic Tarzan. Just simply, perfect. Thank you for sharing this with us, Sheridan. Bravo.

As always…and yes, I know it’s the third quote, but there were too many to choose just one!! Here you go:

“You fill my soul.”

SEX

Alright, so now that we got that out of the way, let’s talk about this book. Woah, holy mother of all things holy. If you aren’t comfortable with sex then please don’t continue to read this review. Also, definitely don’t read this book. It’s like a written porn. Like 50 Shades without trying so hard to be erotic. It’s like the best glass of red wine with dark chocolate and a plush blanket next to a roaring fire. It’s goooooood sex. Really good sex.

Apologies in advance to any of the humans reading this review that thought all I read were cheesy YA romance novels…lol JOKES. I like to read all sorts of things, and this is definitely one of them.

Moving on. Our author, Krista Gold, pulled out the big guns for this book. We get a little taste of everything; sex, money, murder…what more could you need for a really good story? Our main character, Tessa, struggles at the beginning of the book. She recently lost her mother and most of her friends through her grief (yikes, relatable!). She lives in her late mother’s massive mansion surrounded by old money folks who gossip and constantly make her feel inadequate. And then…DA DADA DUUUUM…enter our delicious knight and shining armor, Emilio. The gardener from next door.

AH. I mean, I’m over here drooling as our author describes him. Total perfection. He introduces our leading lady into the world of sex. And, when I say introduces, I’m not kidding. She doesn’t even know this guy and gives him her virginity before they’ve said a hundred words to each other. Brave girl. We, as the reader, get to skate through pages and pages of glorious sex scenes. In the living room, at the beach, in the car, ect. Raw and rich and wildly scandalous.

About halfway through the novel, the plot actually begins. We learn that Tessa’s mother was potentially murdered. We read about how Tessa is given the opportunity to write a biography on her mother (Tessa’s mother was a famous erotica novelist). BUT…we never learn anything about Emilio…until the very end. When shit really hits the fan.

ENTER: LGBTQ PLOT TWIST…heckin’ yeah!!! I’m all about introducing current issues into novels and this was SUCH a great way to bring this book current. AWESOME JOB, GOLD.

I won’t tell you who’s gay, you get to read that part for yourself 🙂 It’s worth it, I promise. This story is an easy read, great for a rainy afternoon or an evening on the couch. I won’t say it made me feel much of anything; that’s not always the point though. I do love tear-jerkers and nail-biters, but every once in a while it’s nice to have a simple read that leaves you with a smile on your face. That’s exactly what this was for me.

“I am utterly, irrevocably changed.”

Tonight I wanted to take a little time to write about me. I love reviewing romance novels, but I had the urge to write about the romance of my life…my first kiss (X3).

Yes, you read that right. I’ve had 3 first kisses. I’ll explain more below because I’m sure you’re either rolling your eyes at me right now or thoroughly confused. Either way, I want to share this with you.

I have this thing about mouths. If you know me well, you know this already. I’m not sure how to explain it except that, if I don’t like your mouth, I’m immediately not attracted to you. I made the mistake once of dating a guy who had a gross mouth…man, that was a painful 7 months. Don’t ask me why I stayed that long, you won’t like the answer. It makes me sound shallow and mean…granted I was only 20, but still. Anyway, here we goooooo.

Okay so, kiss #1. This was the first time my lips ever touched another persons. It was 7th grade. I had glasses and braces and had barely learned how to use deodorant… but for some god forsaken reason, my choir teacher decided to cast me as Cinderella in our middle school musical. This meant I had to kiss Prince Charming. I remember the very first thing I did when I got the script was count how many times I had to kiss him. I was absolutely terrified. Guys, I mean honestly, you don’t even have to ask because OF COURSE I had a massive crush on the guy playing Prince Charming…UGH. He was an 8th grader and on the football team and ended up being my boyfriend for a short period of time 3 years later lolololol. Anyway, to make everything so much worse, the day of the infamous kiss, the director made all of the cast members sit on the ground in front of the stage. Now, this was in a cafetorium, mind you, and if you don’t know what that is…it’s a cafeteria with a stage inside. Cafeteria/Auditorium. SOOO, yeah, all the other 6th, 7th, and 8th graders sat on the cafeteria tables in front of the stage and the director forced us to kiss in front of everyone. THIS WAS MY VERY FIRST KISS. I ran off the stage and cried afterwards. I wanted it to be special and beautiful and it was ruined by the snickers and whispers of 30 other kids age 11-14.

Next kiss #2. The first time feelings were ever reciprocated by the other person (well, at least I thought so at the time lol). I was in 9th grade, but had lots of issues and was deemed a “weirdo” and a “nerd” early on in high school, so no boys my age were interested. So, i said screw it and dated an 8th grader. A very talented, very handsome 8th grader, I might add (he was cast as the lead in the middle school musical). I met him and we dated for 3 WHOLE WEEKS. I mean, that’s pretty impressive for 15 year old me, if I may say so. Back to my story. Dripping Springs, Texas is notorious for its Founder’s Day festival weekend every year. It’s almost too big now to be safe, but back in the day, we used to walk to Founders on Friday after school let out to catch the parade. All the kids would run ahead and ride the carnival rides and stuff themselves with popcorn and cotton candy. It was always a huge deal to find out who asked who to Founders. 2009 was MY year and I finally had a date! I was so excited! He took me on the ferris wheel and kissed me above the crowds. Later that night he left me for another girl…and I went home crying…but those couples of hours were magical. After multiple failed attempts at seduction, he later came out to me, and now we’re best friends.

Last kiss #3. The REAL kiss. This is the panty-melting kiss. The kiss that changes the way you see the world. The kiss that makes sense of everything. You stop and realize that THIS, this is why people fall in love. This is why people give their hearts away even when they know they might be returned to them bruised and broken. If you haven’t experienced this kiss yet, don’t worry, it’s never too late.

I was in college. My freshman year. He was a senior. Those of you that know me, know this story. As I retell it, and I remember every detail just as vividly. He was a senior and his college house had been broken in to and his laptop was stolen. He had a very important paper to write and I told him that he could borrower my computer while I studied. LOL silly me…there were computer labs all over campus but he asked to come to my DORM ROOM TO WRITE HIS PAPER. I was naive, okay? Don’t roll your eyes!

4 hours of studying later and he finally finished his paper and got up to leave. Ooooo I was so mad. He was going to leave just like that?? I thought we were going to talk and maybe watch a movie and snuggle or something, ANYTHING. We hadn’t been talking for long, maybe a week or two. We weren’t anywhere close to boyfriend/girlfriend. I didn’t know anything about relationships, I’d never had a real boyfriend. I’d never had a real kiss. I put on my big girl panties that very second and said straight to his face, “Umm so are you going to kiss me or what?” and then it happened. It was indescribable. I lost all sense of time…I don’t even know what I did with my hands. All I remember is him pulling away and looking at me, breathlessly. He said “I thought you’d never ask.” Then he left. And he took my whole heart with him. He gave it back to me a year later, shattered and forever changed. But not unmendable. For that, I am forever grateful.

So there you have it. My 3 first kisses. Thanks again, friends ❤

WARNING!!! SPOILERS AHEAD!!! PROCEED WITH CAUTION!!!

Hey everyone! It’s been a minute…sorry about that. This book was a little longer than my usual, PLUS I actually left my apartment on more than one night last week (crazy, I know). Don’t worry – I’m back now.

Dangerous to Know & Love by Jane Harvey-Berrick was a wild ride…let me tell ya. I honestly can’t review it without talking about the HUGE elephant (shoes) in the room, which basically spoils the entire book. SOOO if you want to read this book, stop now. Lisanne and Daniel deserve to have everyone hear their story, truly.

Alright. Here we are. Spoilers ahead for real now.

First thing we need to talk about is how INCREDIBLE both of these characters are. I mean, holy crap, Lisanne is such a compassionate, understanding, loving young woman. And she’s only 19 years old! Daniel has his own slew of issues (which we’ll discuss further in a moment), but even through his issues, he is still strong, dependable, charismatic, and self-reflecting. It’s beautiful to watch their story blossom. They really are two, young adults, in college, discovering love for the first time.

Lisanne is an impeccable vocalist, wonderful daughter, passionate student, and loyal friend. She’s young and very naive at the beginning of the novel, but through her experiences with Daniel (i.e. drugs, sex, and rock and roll LOL) she really breaks out of her shell and shines. We also get to meet her parents and younger brother during the story…and we get to see where she gets all her goodness from. Both her mother and father are very kind and gentle people. They listen to both of their children and always give them the benefit of the doubt. I think the one thing that stood out to me about Lisanne from the very beginning was her open-mindedness. She is incredibly receptive to others and in-tune with how others are feeling. It makes her the perfect companion for Daniel.

Daniel is a whole other can of worms. At first he seems to be extremely moody and arrogant. Ignoring people constantly, not making any friends. But then we (actually Lisanne) discover the truth…Daniel is deaf. He communicates with people by reading their lips. He doesn’t make friends with anyone because having to read more than one person at a time is impossible and lip-reading is exhausting. He ignores people because he CAN’T HEAR THEM. We find out that Daniel doesn’t have parents, they died when he was in high school, and he lost his hearing when he was 14. He lives with his older brother who is a drug dealer. He used to play and write music, so that’s what drew him to Lisanne but also what made their relationship so painful for him. We, the reader, get to watch Daniel discover how much he loves Lisanne and, in turn, love himself. He begins to accept what has happened to him, but not let it define him.

THEN THE SHIFT HAPPENS!!! ❤

Daniel decided to get a cochlear implant because he wants to hear Lisanne sing. OMG DYING. Don’t you just love a well-written hero? One that will do anything for his heroine?

There’s an entire other part of the novel which involves Daniel’s brother Zef and his drug dealing issues…but that’s not what kept me reading the book. Give this book a shot. It’ll really make your day.

I mean, it’s a happily ever after, what did you expect? You have to read it to fully grasp how elated I feel right now. It’s beautiful and left me completely in awe. GREAT read.

“I hear you.”

Okay, top 5 thoughts while reading this:

1. Confidence seriously needs to get her shit together. This is so annoying. (I thought this at least 30 times)
2. OMG Hayes is the most perfect man on the face of this earth
3. Uhhh…I call my grandma Gigi sooo this is weird for me…
4. OH MY GOD PEOPLE SUCK
5. Wow, I am feeling a lot of things right now.

So, let’s begin. Our heroine is named Confidence (we later learn she has a brother named Fortune, but he’s in prison). She is just…WOW. She’s a lot. She is really hard to relate to and she has a TON of baggage. It’s difficult to like her, especially the further into the story you get. Hayes, on the other hand, is absolutely lovable. He’s insanely wealthy, so you can kind of understand why he acts the way he does at the beginning of the book. And we are told that his ex-wife basically ruined women for him…yikes. Our author, Dylan Allen, did a fantastic job with the character development in this book. We get to experience a full arc with Hayes, which is rare in steamy romance novels. I was so pleased 🙂 Together, these two lovers are an unstoppable force. It’s truly brilliant writing.

As we dig a bit deeper into Hayes and Confidence’s journey, not only do we get boatloads of conflicts coming at us from left and right (whether it be a flood, or an attempted murder, or a pregnancy…we get it all here); we also get to read a true story of falling-in-love.

I CANNOT EXPLAIN HOW RARE THIS IS!!!

Guys. We literally NEVER get to read about two people who really fall in love. It’s always love at first sight OR best friends who realize after 10 years that they are perfect for each other OR a “fake” relationship that turns about to be real later on…don’t get me wrong, I LOVE all those stories too, it just feels like we were finally gifted with something truly original here and it’s SO GREAT!

Everyone should read this. 100% recommend. Also, Allen’s writing is impeccable. No joke, I wrote down at least 10 different quotes that spoke to me. I can’t choose just one, so you’ll get a couple at the end. ❤ I don’t want to say too much and ruin any part of the book for you, but I’ll give a super duper generic summary:

Rich guy meets poor girl at a wedding abroad. Guy is a jerk to girl. Girl almost dies. Guy and girl spend nights together and begin romance. Guy and girl fall in love. **FAMILY DRAMA** More family drama. Guy hurts girl (not physically). Girl leaves guy. Guy begs for girl back…and you’ll have to read the rest to find out 🙂

“Ti amotu sei il re del mio cuore. You’re the king of my heart.”

AND

“You are my reason.”

Ooof, okay lesson learned with this one: Probably shouldn’t read a series out of order ever again…no matter how great the rating is.

This novel, written by Joanna Blake, was definitely an experience! I’m not sure how much of the book was actually story telling and how much was just graphic depictions of sex. It’s great if you’re into that sort of thing! I mean, a little spice always adds something to the story…but not when it’s every 10 pages!

The book started out strong. A handsome, ex-navy, strong and silent type man and a quirky, loud, earth-loving woman meet under peculiar circumstances. She lives out in the country, very secluded from the world; a widow trying to keep her seedling business alive. He is the foreman in charge of the development being built DIRECTLY next to her home. Obviously, it’s lust at first sight for both, but being a widow, she has a few issues she needs to get over, on her own, before she can give him her heart.

Mac and Suzannah fall quickly and rather ardently in love with each other within a few weeks. She brings out a side of him that his friends (or should I say biker/gang comrades) haven’t ever seen. It’s very touching to watch Mac blossom…but sadly, we don’t see much growth from Suzannah.

Also…I’m still not sure if Mac is in a biker gang or just a gang where they ride bikes or if bikes are even involved at all…

Anyway, Suzannah rejects Mac quickly after finding out about how the gang takes matters (aka the law) into their own hands at times. I mean…why was she even surprised about that? It’s a GANG. Anyway, after one night with the “girls” (aka significant others of the guys in the gang with Mac) she changes and her mind and all is forgiven and she’s totally fine with it….I mean…WHAT?! A little too convenient, in my opinion.

The biggest issue I had was the way the author split up the chapters. We read this story from at LEAST 6 different people’s perspectives…but I had no idea who they were! I understood that some of the men where members of the gang, but then there was also some extra plot about the mafia? Who was in the mafia? Also which woman belonged to which man? I kept forgetting every 20 pages or so. I was thankful the author kept bringing us back to Mac and Sussy’s perspectives because I would have been totally lost if she hadn’t…

All in all, I’d give it 3.5 stars. The story kept me intrigued for the most part, but the characters lacked dept. I might give the first book in this series a shot when I have some down time. It might actually bring everything together for me? We’ll see!

“I was worth the risk.”