This is what I think as I sit here. That I want that back, the experience of wanting something desperately that is actually yours. Of wanting what you already have, instead of wanting what will never be yours again.

An “undertow” is defined as a current of water below the surface that is moving in the opposite direction as the surface current.
That is what this novel is about. Perfectly titled. Going against the norm, no matter how hard it is, because it’s what you were meant to do. It’s what Maura and Nate were born to do, together.
He was my best thing, my sweetest thing, and he wasn’t really mine at all.
Maura, our lead, is different than all the other men and women of her social class. She thinks differently, sees differently, loves differently. She was born into an elite, high society. Her parents are ridiculously wealthy. Money is held in the highest regard and friendships are formed over the judgements of people and things. Maura grew up living in this lifestyle, with one element keeping her tethered to the ground. Nate. Nate is the son of the hired help. His mother had an affair with one of the elite and found herself with child. Instead of taking her under their wing, they allowed her to live in servants quarters and maintain the household. Nate is a “townie”, not worthy of Maura’s type of people, but she loved him nonetheless. They bonded as babies, became best friends as children, and lovers as teenagers. They were inseparable until something (or rather someone) tore them apart. Maura and Nate lived for the time they spent together during their summers at the beach in Michigan where Maura’s family vacationed. When summer ended, Maura had to go back to school, and Nate stayed where he was. It went on for years like that until that one fateful summer when everything changed.
Finally, after being separated for years, they come back together, only to find that their love hasn’t faded in the least…and neither has their anger. Both of them have their own version of what happened the last time they saw each other. It’s heartbreaking.
“Of course it’s too late,” she answers, regarding me with what looks like sympathy. “It was always too late.”
This story creeped up on me. I thought I had a handle on how I felt. I thought I was comfortable and prepared for this journey. I was wrong. As Elizabeth O’Roark does (better than anyone), my breath was stolen from me. Her words cracked my chest and ripped emotions out that I wasn’t ready for. Maura is weeping for the loss of her adolescent years with the man she loves, only to receive blow after blow of unforgiving facts about her childhood. She questions everything. The entire story is told from Maura’s perspective, so we have little insight into how Nate is feeling or what he’s thinking. It’s difficult to fathom the pain he endured in their separation, especially after he told Maura his version of what really happened that last summer.
Maura and Nate are a dream come true. A love like that is all anyone wants. An undeniable need to be with that person forever. It doesn’t matter how or what it costs you. This was a journey of reconciliation and forgiveness. It took me a few days to complete because O’Roark shattered my soul, but the ending was everything. I feel so complete, yet I wish there was more. I don’t want to leave Maura and Nate behind.
“I’ve seen the two of you fight, and complain, and disagree, and even break up, but it’s never worried me. Because Elise is the person you were born to be with. And I really believe that once you’ve found that person,” he says, turning from Brian to lock his gaze into me, fierce and unapologetic, “then no matter how many times you’re separated, you’ll find each other again and again.”








